Heaven Can Wait
by mirai-san
Summary: CH 4 UP Prophetic dreams have returned. I want to decipher it, but I fell helplessly in love with the untouchable one. Why is he hurting me? And oniichan, why do you want to die? I wish you could see how much I need you. [SakuraYue]
1. Sleepless Dreamer

Heaven Can Wait

~Mirai

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Heaven is calling me. . .

Heaven needs me. . .

But Heaven will have to wait. . ."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

** **

+A/N+

~Heaven Can Wait is a CCS fic inspired by Seygull's site of the same title. Visit her page @ 

~To be honest, I haven't seen very many episodes of CCS's second season, so I had to a bunch of researching and I ended up reading a lot of spoilers in order to get this story to work. XP I apologize 4 any further errors.

~Thanx go out 2 Ayame/Lisa/Robert/Sherbie for helping me out! ^_^

****

+Footnotes+ 

~Some Japanese/Chinese texts are marked with a bracketed number. Refer to the bottom of the page for translations. [Commonly used words are left untranslated.] 

Chapter 1: [Sleepless Dreamer]

_I... I can't feel myself. Where... am I? Kero-- Kero-chan?! Dokoniiruno[1], Kero-chan!?? _

"...Kero-chan...!?!"

I was responded only with the faint echoes of my own desperate voice, chanting 'chan... chan.....' repeatedly, as if it were mocking me and emphasizing the fact that I was alone.

Darkness enveloped my body, like I've just been swallowed- must've been my imagination, but I actually felt it, tight and cold against my skin.

My mind flooded with countless inquiries. How did I get here? Why was it so dark!? I couldn't see... I needed-- I needed my Light Card! I----

I....

I froze instantly.

I wasn't alone...

Someone was here with me. Although I was blind in this lightless area, I could sense the presence of another individual. There wasn't a need for me to feel endangered, but I decided to stay cautious for my own sake.

"I know you're here with me!" I stated simply, constantly turning around and shifting my position to catch a glimpse of the one that I was trapped with. But I knew perfectly well that I wouldn't be able to see a thing as long as I was here.

The other being was trying to connect to me. I couldn't understand how it was able to speak to me, but the message did manage to come through. Its form of communication perplexed me at first... for it came to me mentally. 

I was fooled for an instant into thinking that the words were my own, for the voice speaking in my head uncannily resembled mine. But I knew better than that. I knew which thoughts were my own and which were implanted by another. This creature... it was borrowing my voice- my distinct articulation; my _inimitable tone, to converse with me._

Help me, _it said. _I don't want to suffer any more than I already have...

Help you from what? _I replied through thought. _

_My question was either ignored or it wasn't heard. It resumed speaking without responding to me._

I-- I can't predict the future. What's going to happen to me? 

__

I shut my eyes firmly, desperately grasping onto the words I was psychologically hearing. Concentrating had never been so difficult. But then, suddenly, my tension melted- only to rejuvenate into anxiety. It was only a small, simple phrase that seized my complete attention- but what that [spiritual?] being told me was enough to leave me unexplainably shaken.

Sometimes, I feel... I feel like I'm trapped in a....

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

****

{Excerpt ~ ·Sakura no Shia-naru·[2]}

A prophecy, it said. Like I'm trapped in a prophecy.

These kinds of dreams have returned to me once again. You know, those dreams that are supposed to be a premonition of the upcoming future? What were those called again--? Well, I guess that's not really important. I need to find out what this vision means. I'm no dream interpreter, but I have this magical sense that something unpredictable is about to happen. I just wish I had enough power in me to see the entire dream and understand its concept.

It was weird- and I bet it's going to be just as hard to interpret. I wouldn't exactly say that the setting was pure darkness... More like... well, like my dream never showed me where I was. Maybe I'll be able to see it in the next dream. It's all just a matter of time, I guess.

I've already decided not to tell Kero-chan about it. After all, I don't believe it has anything to do with the Clow Cards. It's more like a personal affair of mine. And anyway, I think it's time I started resolving problems on my own.

Oh well, on a different matter, I've noticed that oniichan has been awfully quiet lately. He hasn't seemed very happy... I should ask him about it sometime. Oh, and I've also noticed that he's been really overprotective of me, too-- kinda like... like maybe he thinks I'm in danger? His senses are very powerful, Kero-chan told me, but I have no idea what oniichan is capable of.

Ara! I hear oniichan's footsteps. It's past nine o'clock- he's coming to check up on me... I better get to bed.

Kinomoto Sakura

Jan. 23, 1998; 21:06

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Touyaaaaaa--!"

The one so called cringed internally as he felt a pair of arms thrown around his neck. Now was not a good time for him to be bothered.

Still over Touya's back, Nakuru waved a free hand across the table, shouting cheerfully, "Yuki, hi!"

Yukito stood, holding a large paper bag full of newly-purchased groceries, and acknowledged Nakuru with a friendly smile.

Touya did not welcome her the same way. He struggled out of her reach and bolted up from his chair with a threatening expression.

Nakuru noticed this, but simply grinned at the sight of him agitated. "Come on, Touya, let's see your smile."

She reached out to touch him, just before Touya quickly grasped her wrist and fiercely shoved her away, replying bitterly, "I will make that my own business."

Nakuru stared at him blankly, blinking every few seconds to keep her eyes from tiring. Then her eyes narrowed slightly and she gave him a look that seemed almost suspicious. She turned to Yukito, extended her arm to point an accusing finger in Touya's direction, and said with an ungrateful voice, "Tell me when that bastard over there puts his act together and stops being such a pain in the ass to be around!"

She flipped long chestnut strands of hair casually over her shoulder, turned so that her back was to their faces, and simply walked off.

Both Touya and Yukito slowly slipped into their seats at that moment. They were on their lunch break and had left school grounds to spend their spare time at a local restaurant. The two of them sat at opposite ends of the patio table outdoors, Touya staring off absent-mindedly into space and Yukito rummaging through the bag of groceries which was still cradled in his left arm. His right hand finally found a piece of fruit and it wasn't long before he began to sink his teeth into it. He had not yet spoken a single word.

This wasn't the first time Yukito had seen his friend like this. He hadn't bothered asking Touya about it because he was afraid it would anger him. To him, the truth was solely that Touya just didn't look happy. Upset wasn't a very good word to describe his mood. Disturbed maybe? No. Depressed? Confused, miserable, suicidal??

Touya suddenly reached across the patio table and swiftly grabbed the apple from Yukito's hand. There was only a single bite in it; Yukito had been so occupied in thought that he had forgotten about the apple secured between his fingers.

Touya slowly rocked the fruit in front of him, examining its surface, and contemplating at the same time. The skin of the ruby-red apple gleamed in elaborate scarlet highlights under the influence of the winter midday sun.

"You don't have to worry about me," Touya assured his best friend.

Yukito was startled. He had assumed that Touya didn't realize he was here. And his words... It was as if he had read his mind.

"Touya...?" Yukito responded, at a loss for words.

"I appreciate you too much to hurt you." Touya continued, finally taking a bite into the apple.

There was a distressing silence between them from then on. Yukito found himself involuntarily staring at his folded hands while Touya chewed soundlessly and monotonously.

Slow minutes passed by when at last, Touya finished off the apple and tossed the remaining core into the nearby trash receptacle, depicting a perfect endeavor when the apple's remnants emitted a thud at the pit of the container. From there, Touya let his chin fall into his crossed fingers and sighed. After a few blinks and breaths, he lifted himself from his seat with support from the table and took a step away from where he was just sitting.

"Where are you going?" Yukito asked him.

"Going to take a short walk." Touya told him in a quiet voice. "Just to clear my mind."

"Touya... you don't seem like yourself. Anything wrong?"

Touya was silenced. The hands at his sides compressed into tight fists, but not from anger or frustration. They shook, constantly clenching and unclenching until he finally settled them on his weary face. 

Yukito regretted his question after seeing him like that. "Touya, I'm so sorry... Did I upset y--"

"I told you not to worry about me." he interrupted softly and reassuringly. He approached Yukito slowly and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll be okay."

Touya began to depart again after he thrust a hand into the grocery bag and quickly withdrew another apple. He pitched it into the air a few inches above his hand to recapture it firmly in his palm, then bringing it to his teeth.

Cold winds stung at his cheek and whipped through his hair as he walked on, fingers numb from clutching the apple so tensely.

"Sakura," he whispered to no one in particular. _I can read you all too well._

Steadily he treaded through the thin snow and recollected his thoughts.

__

"I don't want you going out alone," Touya had told his sister one previous night not too long ago. _"I'm responsible for you and I'd hate if you got h--"_

"Oniichan!" she had screamed desperately. _"I need to go, please understand!" _ Touya had remembered seeing tears forming in Sakura's eyes. But when he had asked her for the reason why she needed to leave, she could not give him a response. She had opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

_I still don't have an answer from you, Sakura, _Touya recalled. _I said to you, "You can tell me anything and I will understand. And that is a promise."_

And then you stared at me, doubtful and trembling, debating whether or not you were going to explain to me. But instead of giving me the reply I wanted, you asked me, "E, oniichan, naze? Why are you doing this?"

It was then when I gave you the simple truth. "Boku ha omae no ani dakara.[3]" 

Touya then approached his destination. He slid a hand over the icy bar of the railing, barely noticing the sting of cold crawling up his arm. 

_It's always been a natural duty of mine to watch over you. But it seems to me like you don't need me to fulfill my job anymore. You're growing up too fast, Sakura, much too fast for me to keep up. I guess then, you don't need me for anything now- is that right, Himeko-chan?[4] Are you not my little princess anymore?_

I'm not surprised. I'm not needed for anything. I'm just an obstacle...

Touya polished the apple's surface with his frost-bitten fingers, but found himself unable to eat the fruit. He dropped it into the pale, covered ground, watching it sink into the short depths of soft, fresh-fallen snow. Then he turned his attention back over the railing.

He was standing at the center of a tall bridge at an immense height, staring blankly at the slow-flowing waters. Touya glanced downward and spit into the river. It seemed to have taken several minutes for the spray to join the larger mass of liquid. 

_The water looks shallow, _he realized, placing his foot over the bar and lifting himself over the railing until his entire body was just one leap away from falling. _Oh well, if I can't drown I can always freeze to death. _He took one brief glance at his watch. _Geez, I've wasted fifteen minutes now... Better get to it- Whatever's in store for me next- I'm coming..._

And he jumped.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Yukito glanced at his watch the same time Touya did. _It's been fifteen minutes..._ he thought worriedly. He tried not to think about him, but found that to be nearly impossible. He knew Touya too well to believe that he left only to take a walk. And there was no way Yukito was going to let him do anything stupid.

He sat up immediately and sprinted Touya's path. He approached the foot of the bridge soon after and ran across it. But he stopped halfway. Yukito squatted down and picked up a single item from the ground.

_Touya..._ Fear clutched him like a venomous snake wrapped around his body. He dropped the apple immediately and rushed to the railing. He scanned the vast water, and caught a vague glimpse of what he thought to be Touya's dark hair.

"TOUYA-!" he screamed.

With little hesitation, Yukito tossed his glasses into the snow and shook off his blazer, pushed his sleeves up and plunged into the river. He swam with great speed towards Touya, begging and praying that he would be all right, and trying hard to ignore the freezing pain. When at last he reached him, Yukito seized his body and hauled him in the direction of land, struggling as best as he could to get him there as soon as possible.

Finally he used the last of his strength to heave the both of them onto the rocky shoreline. Yukito panted lightly as Touya got to his hands and knees and began to cough up water. Yukito saw that his friend was shivering severely. His eyes met the top of the bridge where his dry blazer was, and so he got to his feet instantly and hurried atop the bridge. He picked the piece of clothing up and shook off excess snow, throwing his glasses on in the process.

When he returned to Touya, he noticed that he was quietly choking. He felt deep pity for him when he caped the blazer around him. Slowly, Yukito reached out a hand to place on Touya's shoulder.

"Don't... touch me." Touya warned in between coughs.

"N-nani...?" 

"Why did you do that!? Damn you, WHY?!" Touya's voice was hoarse but equally bitter. There was frustration in his eyes when he spoke. "I told you not to... not to.... Why...?" His voice started to break. He was evidently too exhausted and upset to continue. His arms trembled as he failed to support himself and began to collapse.

Yukito caught him at the right time, and Touya passed out soon after.

Yukito held him carefully in his arms and touched his own head to Touya's. "Touya..." he whispered, allowing small tears to quiver from the corner of his eyes.

From there, he pulled Touya on top of him and draped his arms around his neck. Yukito then got to his feet and carried both of them back to Touya's home.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1] Where are you?

[2] Journal

[3] Because I am your big brother

[4] {nickname meaning} Princess Child

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

****

So... what'd u think? Good, bad, excellent, crappy? I'd like to know!! Pweeease review! ^_^ This first chapter is just getting into the plot- It doesn't have anything too important. I'm planning around 9-12+ chapters in total- so please be patient while I get off my lazy ass to write some more. XD 


	2. Come Sweet Death

****

+A/N+ 

~The title "Heaven Can Wait" is a poetic rephrase meaning "to cheat death." Don't get it? Here's a brief explanation: Heaven is for dead people. Say, one is meant to die, yet is strong enough to overcome death so that one _won't_ die. Therefore, "Heaven will have to wait." [*One* is a metaphor representing a certain character in this fic, whom I will not reveal :P] Still confused? Aw, screw it, just read on! ^o^ [Hehe, Seygull, sorry I turned your fun-loving site title into a bunch of serious philosophical crap *_*]

~Footnotes are still marked ~.~ [Ugh, this chapter's so sappy and corny... T_T]

****

Chapter 2: [Come Sweet Death]

"Otosan, ohayo[1]!" I greeted my father as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. The sweet aroma of pancakes flourished around me and aroused my hunger.

"Ohayo, Sakura-san." he returned the greet with a welcoming smile. "Hungry?"

"Yeah!" I responded, only to think back to oniichan, who was still in bed. "Otosan, could I bring a batch to oniichan's room first?"

My father resumed grinning. "Of course." He set a plate firmly in my hands and gestured upstairs.

As soon as I reached the last step on the flight of stairs, I suddenly found myself face to face with two hungry, devious miniature eyes.

"Nani, Kero-chan??"

"I was listening to you from up here. How come Touya gets food before me?" he whined.

"Kero-chan..." I giggled. "I felt bad for oniichan. He caught a sudden cold last night and won't be able to make it to school today. Don't worry, I'll be sure to save some of my pancakes for you."

That seemed to have relieved him, and so he fluttered back into my room with a triumphant and satisfied smirk.

Quietly, I knocked my fist against oniichan's door and waited for an invitation. When I was given no response, I simply let myself in.

"No one granted your request to come in." The first words my brother said to me that morning. He was already awake and was seated in his bed in an upright position against the wall with his arms folded.

"Ohayo..." I spoke quietly, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I heard you talking." he replied, bluntly.

I was abruptly shocked, almost unaware of the breakfast plate between my fingers. I worried about Kero-chan being brought to topic, but much to my relief, oniichan spoke of something otherwise.

"Why should you feel bad for me?"

Suddenly I was speechless. I rapidly racked my brain to think up an excuse, but unfortunately, none came to me. My hands started shaking and I could hear the fork clatter against the glass plate in a tense rhythm. Without words, I approached my brother and set the plate down on the bed-sheets beside him, glad to have gotten rid of the jingling beat that made my anxiety telltale. I then folded my hands together, partly attempting to halt my trembling and partly to wait... To wait for... um, for my brother to comprise an action maybe...?

No, there was nothing oniichan was going to do; he was expecting an answer from me.

"Oniichan," I breathed in a small voice. "I'm your little sister."

Narrow eyes suddenly pierced upon me. "I don't need concern from the entire world, you know. I'm fine on my own!" His voice sounded ungrateful and was beginning to rise.

"E, oniichan! I didn't do anything! Why are you so mad at me??"

His fists tightened around the sheets wrapped in his fingers as I continued to speak.

"The only thing I did was care for you, so why are you so unappreciative?! I mean, being sick is one thing, but you have no reason to--"

I was suddenly cut off as my brother jerked on his bed-sheets and sent the plate of breakfast to collide with the floor. The loud crash the dish produced when it shattered interrupted me in mid-sentence. Dark, viscous syrup flowed gradually to form a small sticky puddle over the clean, hardwood floorboards.

And then there was silence. 

I couldn't help it- I only shook harder. When I looked down at my hands, I saw that they were trembling again, and much more severely. I had never seen oniichan like this before, and it scared me to think that- well... how long has this been going on for and how long was this going to last...? 

I felt stinging tears in my eyes and wanted to release them, but I refused to let oniichan see me that vulnerable. I quickly stole a glimpse of him-- and realized that his expression matched mine. His fists, still clutching the sheets with ghostly white knuckles, were shaking much like my own; his eyes were no longer narrowed as they set gently upon me- blinking fiercely to hold back the moisture; and his lip, quivering silently, much to my surprise.

Neither of us made the next move. We were both suspended in stillness. But then I was brave enough to take the first small steps towards him. Slowly, I staggered in his direction and stopped as soon as I reached the edge of his bed.

"Sakura-san--" he began, and I cut short his speech by throwing my arms around him, finally letting my tears to fall freely.

"Gomen nasai~" he cried, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"Oniichan.... oniichan..."

And we were suspended once again.

I should've been relieved, and I guess I kind of was, in a way. Relieved that oniichan still had an emotional side to him. The way he'd stroke the back of my head and assure me that he would forever be here for me- constantly reminding me that he was my big brother- as if I were a child again. And I liked that. I liked receiving that feeling where I knew I had someone to lean on. Funny how I wished to be independent, yet always had to come crying to my big brother.

He told me he'd take care of his own breakfast. "I wouldn't want you to be late for school," he explained.

And so I headed for the door, but glanced back at him before I closed it and gave him a caring smile in gratitude.

"Get well soon."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Ah, Yukito-san!" I squealed, suddenly flooded with joy. Hurriedly, I snapped my rollerblades on and strode towards him.

"Ohayo, Sakura. Ready to leave?"

"Ready," I responded, and raced down the road with Yukito-san behind me on his bike. I was late enough, but I just had to wait for Yukito-san to be right by my side so we could make conversation. 

"Um... Yukito-san, can I ask if oniichan's been a little unusual around you?"

"Sakura... don't you think it would be better if you talked to Touya about it? Instead of me?" He blinked a few times.

"I tried to. But I just can't. His moods are so unpredictable! Mm, Yukito-san... I love oniichan... so much--" My voice was starting to quiver.

"He loves you too. A lot. You know that."

"I just can't help but feel concerned, even though I know he doesn't want me to. I mean, he's sick and--"

Yukito then released one handle on his bike to cover his mouth. The vehicle stumbled slightly as he sneezed.

"Excuse me," he apologized. "I think I also caught that cold Touya has."

I smiled. "You're strong, though. You'll recover fully by this afternoon!"

Yukito let out a small chuckle. "Thank you."

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. "Yukito-san, you brought oniichan home early yesterday, is that right?" I had remembered otosan explaining to me that the both of them had fallen into the water.

"Y-yes..."

"You fell into the river? _Both_ of you? Somehow I can't believe it. Yukito-san, what honestly happened? Please tell me!"

He looked away with disturbed eyes.

"What's wrong? ...Are you two in danger? Yukito-san??"

All of a sudden, he hit the brake and his bicycle came to an abrupt stop. I had to quickly extend my heel so that my blades would curve back to him.

"That's enough," he told me with a firm voice. His distant eyes were still away from mine. "What you want to know may be too much for you." Then he pointed forward. "Your school is just ahead, you might want to hurry if you want to make it in time."

He then steered his bike to the right and pedaled off without another word or a goodbye. 

"Yukito-san...?" I called, but he was already out of site.

I took his advice and dashed into Tomoeda as fast as possible, barely making it into the classroom without being a minute too late.

"Sakura-chan, daijoubu[2]?"

"Oh, Tomoyo-chan. Yes, I'm- No... no I'm not." And I sighed. "But I don't feel like talking about it right now. Maybe I'll tell you some other time?"

"Sure." she nodded understandingly and took her seat, just as Terada-sensei walked in.

I glanced over my shoulder and found the desk behind me to be vacant. _Li-kun must still be away,_ I thought. He had gone to Hong Kong some time ago for family purposes, and had not yet returned.

And so I turned my attention back to sensei and did what I could to concentrate, though my mind constantly slipped from me like sand through unstable fingers.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

There was a loud bell that cued for dismissal. Eriol stepped out of Tomoeda to find his companion amidst a crowd. Nakuru caught sight of him and approached him quickly. The both of them left the mass of energetic students and hid themselves behind a bare, lifeless cherry tree.

"I think it's time she received it." Eriol stated.

"Did you give it to her already?" Nakuru asked him.

Slowly, Eriol shook his head. "There's someone waiting for Sakura outside the school. He will act as our messenger and give it to her."

"Who are you talking about?"

"No one you would know. Just a random decision I made at the last minute. Someone will be there for her, trust me. She will receive it."

"Does the one you chose know about it, at all?"

"No. He is in only destiny's game, as we are. He knows nothing."

"Alright. I just hope _you_ know what you're doing."

"I said trust me."

~~~~

"Tomoyo-chan, it seems today that the world hates me." I finally explained

"Just one of those days?" she asked.

I sighed. "I guess...?"

It was a strangely warm winter day that afternoon when we were walking home from school. The sun was beaming brightly, illuminating the fallen snow with a strong force of white light.

"You shouldn't worry too much about it." Tomoyo smiled. "A lot of people have everyday issues they need to deal with. They'll get around."

I nodded, just as Tomoyo stopped walking all of a sudden. She squinted her eyes and stared forward.

"Hey, look ahead!" she pointed a finger at a stand isolated along the road.

"What is it?" I questioned, stepping forward and stealing a better glance. 

Failing to decipher what was before me, I took an extra few steps. "Waii~!" I suddenly exclaimed, clapping my hands together and grinning. "A travelling magician!"

In a single moment, I ran over to the booth and flashed a 100 yen coin in front of the black-cloaked man.

He eyed me for a second with a welcoming grin, accepting the coin in his fingers. He was a gentle looking man, around his fifties, with friendly blue eyes and small wrinkles that showed slight aging.

"Ah, Magician-san, show us a trick!" I requested delightedly, eyes sparkling. "I love magic!"

"Good afternoon," he greeted. "what's your name?"

My mouth opened to speak when I was suddenly stopped by a simple lift of the magician's hand.

"Your spirit is soft; graceful," he said, gesturing with waves of his fingers. "Like the gentle swift of a petal in the wind. Your aura emanates sweetness, like cherries. Your name- it _must_ be 'Sakura.' And Sakura-san, I will show you your trick."

"Ara!" I squealed happily. "How did you know my name!?"

The magician simply held out his hand. "Please pass me something of yours."

"Oh," I shook my backpack off my shoulder and quickly opened it, thrusting my hand in and searching for a random object to retrieve. Eventually, my hand found a small, pink hairbrush, and it was that I took out to hand to the man.

For several minutes, he held the object in his palm and just stared at it, occasionally stroking it slowly with his fingertips. "You had a lot happen to you in your lifetime. Passing of a loved one?"

_Okaasan..._[3] Eyes dropping, I nodded, speaking in a quiet voice, "Yes..."

"But the most significant change occurred in the past year." He folded his hands. It seemed to me that his gestures and actions with his hands displayed his emotions. "From the looks of it, you are a very magical little girl yourself."

He smiled and I returned it.

"He's very talented." Tomoyo whispered to me.

The magician picked up my brush again and I thought he was about to return it to me when he flipped it into the air, allowing it to vanish within seconds.

"E!?" Tomoyo and I gasped in unison.

"Not to worry, it's returned to your school bag." he assured.

Surely enough, when I went to check, there it was.

"Wow~" I breathed.

"Amazing," added Tomoyo.

"Don't leave yet," he resumed. "I saw that there's something ahead of you. Don't expect it, you can't possible know what the upcoming brings- but it's there. Your future has a lot in store for you, Sakura-san."

"Ho-e?"

"I can't promise anything," he continued. "Oh, and before you go-" He clasped his hands tightly together, pressing his palms against each other. In a split second, a white cloud of dust appeared as he opened up his hands. Held in his fingers was an object in which I couldn't distinguish at first glance. He placed it into my own hands, with the words, "A gift."

Tan-coloured paper brushed against my skin. _Old_ paper, at that, with two wooden knobs at opposite ends. 

"A scroll?" I realized, unraveling the paper to view it surface. I didn't quite understand what I was looking at. It looked like symbols- symbols delicately printed out in thick, black ink. Wait- actually, I could read it- I recognized some of the symbols, but very few of them. "Kanji...?"

"Sakura-chan, that's Chinese." Tomoyo pointed out.

"Oh~! Thank you, Magician-san!!" I gave him a quick bow and he mirrored my move. 

"No problem at all." he replied. "Goodbye now."

"Bye!" I waved my arm back at him as Tomoyo and I walked off.

"Chinese?" I asked. "I wonder what it says."

"Looks like a poem." Tomoyo suggested.

"Hmm... maybe I'll ask Li-kun when he returns."

"Oh! Do you know when he'll be back?"

"I'm not sure, hope it's soon though. Too quiet without him." I laughed.

Tomoyo agreed.

After a short silence, I abruptly stopped dead in my footsteps.

"What's the matter?" 

"Tomoyo-chan...? Do you get the feeling that we're being watched?"

"Er, no..."

"Oh.... Never mind then. Heheh, sorry. Just an instinct I got." I let out a chuckle, but it was partly forced...

~~~~

"She got it."

"I knew she would."

"So how did you do it this time?"

Eriol stopped to stare at Sakura through thick lenses. "I," he began. "didn't do a thing. No, this was all planned for. Fate is taking its course."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1] Father, good morning 

[2] Are you okay

[3] Mother

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

****

Wahh!! I still barely got to the plot! ;__; Well I tried making this chapter longer... but erm... it didn't work? LoL, I'll try making the next one actually GET TO THE DAMN STORY LINE! ^0^ As always, PLZ review, constructive criticism is welcomed~ Plz, if you have suggestions, tell me!


	3. Cruelty

****

+A/N+

~Yay, I finally got to the main storyline :D I have an early warning for Touya fans~ Sorry for all the torture he's been through so far... but trust me, there will be more. If you are not okay with this and cannot bear Touya getting hurt... erm...**then don't read the parts about Touya. ** I have the entire story all planned out already, and it's sad that Touya has to go through so much~~ but angst is my style so what can ya do? ^0^! I, myself, am a Touya fan; he's among my fave anime characters, so this fic is not to disrespect him ^^;; 

~**Note:** The title of this chapter, [Cruelty] is ironic... and you will see why later on in the story. XD

****

Chapter 3: [Cruelty]

"Sakura?" Kero scuttled over beside me and sat himself down on the windowsill. 

"Ah, Kero-chan." I greeted, keeping my eyes through the window, into the sky. "Oniichan's out again. He's working late."

"...And you're worried about him, I presume?"

"No..." I paused. "Yes."

Kero crossed his short arms and hovered by the window, almost as if he were meditating. "He definitely knows about you, somehow. Maybe not completely, but he's getting there."

"I know. He's too powerful. Maybe it's destroying him- what he knows about me..."

"Hmm..." Kero contemplated.

I sighed and rested my chin into my hands. Other then a few blinks, my eyes were locked at the celestial bodies that hung in the night sky. "The moon looks a little faded tonight." I noticed.

Kero stole a peak at the sky. "It's without stars. Perhaps it's lonely."

Lightly, I released a small laugh and turned to face Kero. "That's a ridiculous thing to say."

Kero formed a smirk. "Say," he began, glancing at my desk. "about that scroll..."

"Oh this?" I left the window and approached my desk. Wrapping my fingers carefully around my gift, I lifted it off the surface and showed it to Kero. "I got this in the afternoon from a travelling magician. He offered it to me as a gift."

I unraveled the scroll from the sides and smoothed it out onto my desk.

"Chinese," he stated immediately.

"Yeah, can you read it?"

"Unh unh," he shook his head. "If you want anything read in Chinese, you should ask Syaoran."

"Li-kun's away." I explained, wrapping the scroll up again and settling it back into the corner of my desk. While I was doing that I caught a view of a pink stuffed bunny at the side. Reluctantly, I lifted the animal and pressed its soft texture against my cheeks, feeling its gentle warmth on my skin. 

Kero's expression suddenly saddened as he saw my eyes begin to mist. "Sakura..."

"Kero-chan, it's getting late," I replied, changing the subject all of a sudden. "I should probably be getting to sleep now."

He agreed with a slow, simple nod. But before he crept into his sleeping area in the drawer, he fluttered over to me and lifted my chin with his tiny paw. "Hey, don't look so down. I know you have a lot of concern for Touya-san, but he cares for you, and as long as he has that care, you two will be fine."

I sniffled like I was a little kid again. "Ok."

"G'night." Kero placed a kind smile on his face.

"Night..." I replaced my bunny at the edge of the desk and examined it for a few seconds. How isolated it looked... 

Finally leaving it where is was, I pulled into bed, blanketed myself and snapped off the lamp. 

~~~~

Didn't know how long I was asleep for. Not damn long, I suppose. There were feelings of discomfort all around me, and it was certain that I couldn't fall asleep when I could feel them. It was painful, how random streaks would fly through my brain- strange premonitions, maybe? I tried squeezing my eyes shut and clutching my head, but the aches would not stop. Confusing words would just appear before me, and I could not even begin to decipher them.

_"I'm looking for..." "A promise" "She can't help me," "Mistress..." "They promised." "I must kill~"_

"The moon looks a little faded..." 

"Perhaps it's lonely..."

And suddenly my eyes flew open and I released my grip.

_Yue-san..._

I quickly sprang out of bed and called for Kero through a loud whisper. However, I was only responded with the light snoring in which he usually gave off each night. 

The room was pitched in darkness with the exception of...

...the faint glowing of the moon.

I approached the same window and shoved it open. My hair brushed over my cheeks as a cold gust of wind flew past me and sent a quick shiver down my body. I knew there was something I had to do... God knows what it could be, but I had to go anyway. Quickly, I dressed myself in the outfit I had worn that evening and shoved a coat on. Swiftly and silently, [and allowing Kero-chan to sleep in] I released my staff, summoned Fly and jumped out the window, assembling myself safely onto the narrow shaft.

Snowfall and harsh winds beat at me cruelly. My hands were numb already from clutching the staff. However, I shrugged off the discomfort and continued on.

Although I had no particular destination in mind, my first stop was Yukito's home. But as I neared the building, I could sense nothing- not even Yukito's presence, but I decided to check anyway. It wasn't that late- maybe about 10:30 or so- and their lights were still on, so I crept over to their door and knocked. 

No answer.

I saw the light in the living room on, but nobody was home. 

I knocked again. Still no answer. 

For a few minutes, I just stood behind the Tsukishiro's front door and felt a sense of hopelessness. I stared down at my fingers, which had transformed into an unknown colour.

_Yukito-san..._

Dignity was losing its grip on me... I started to tremble- my hands, my shoulders... my entire body- like a helpless child. And that's exactly what I felt I was. There was water forming at the corner of my eyes as I glanced back at the sky, almost as if I thought there were celestial gods that could grant me the power to find Yue.

Then suddenly, my hands bolted back to my head again, despite their sore numbness, as the same ache streaked across my brain. My mouth was wide open, ready to scream, but no sound was produced. By this time, tears were streaming freely down my face. The staff that was clutched within my fingers fell into the snow without my notice.

As the pain slowly subsided, my tears began to disappear too. Something came to me. As quickly as I could, I scooped up the staff from the snow and started flying away again. I finally knew where Yue was... I was sure of it. However, I had to hurry before my sudden intuition faded.

I knew I had traveled some distance by now. I had passed by my school, Tomoyo's home, and several other familiar buildings before I suddenly halted, near a dense forest. A gasp escaped me immediately. 

_I've been here before..._

I could hardly see the bare trees and shrubbery due to the immense darkness that swallowed all forms of life. My courage underwent a quick phase before I finally took a deep breath, shut my eyes, and shot right in.

I suppose it wasn't as bad from within. My eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, and I could distinguish a few winter plants that were blanketed in snow. Now all I had to do was---

"You bastards leave me alone!!!"

The loud yell echoed once in the woods and then was gone. 

"Ok I'll do it! Just--" His voice was suddenly muffled. There was an anguished cry followed by a thump.

With as much speed as I could exert, I followed the voice. It became slightly louder and fiercer as I neared it.

"Fucking demons...." he muttered loudly.

_Yue-san...!_

There I saw a figure in the snow. A pair of ethereal wings- almost as white as pure ivory- protruded from his back and spread lifelessly on the ground. There were specks of dark red in the snow... I saw them even in the dark.

"Yue-san!!!" I screamed, noticing the blood streaming from his face and his hands.

He gasped lightly and lifted his head. "Sakura-san...?!" Pain suddenly struck his face, and his head fell to the ground again.

I jumped off my staff and quickly knelt beside his body. "Yue-san! What happened?! Daijoubu?!"

On his cheek was a deep slit that was slowly releasing blood. It seemed agonizing for him to open his mouth and speak. "Sakura-san... no need to worry, I am okay." He lifted a hand streaked with crimson and touched a finger to my face. His hands were limp and his fingers were shaking.

He was a good liar. I always thought that he was.

"You were talking to somebody," I remembered. "Was it him that hurt you like this? Tell me... who's done this to you?"

Slowly, Yue shook his head. "It was nobody. Really."

"Don't lie to me!" I told him, frustrated.

He chuckled lightly. It made me want to cry... seeing how much physical pain he was in, yet allowing himself to laugh just to convince me that he was alright.

I supported his head off the snow, careful not to induce any more pain on his stinging wounds. "I'm taking you to my house-"

"Sakura--"

"-and I won't let you leave until you're better. Don't bother to protest."

Yue managed to lift himself, and I helped him aboard the flying staff, letting him lean weakly over my shoulder. I made sure he was secure enough to stay fastened behind me.

_Hold on, Yue-san... Don't let go of consciousness just yet..._

~~~~

There were positive and negative results to having left my window open. First of all, it was much easier for Yue and I to get back into my room, but now my room was so cold.

I flickered on a dim light so that I could see better, just enough to keep Kero asleep. Gently, I rested Yue's body on top of my own bed. He grimaced a few times before settling down and opening his eyes to look at me. 

"Sakura-san~" he groaned.

"Shhh..." I whispered, placing a finger over my lips as a gesture. Hurriedly, I rushed over to a cabinet and withdrew a large white box. Soon it was placed beside Yue. I opened up the case and looked around it. The first aid kid had been my mother's idea. She had suggested that we keep one in every room, in case of any emergency. I was extremely grateful that I had it handy now.

The cut on Yue's cheek was slowly healing on its own. Blood on his hands were already starting to dry. But Yue was blinking rapidly, and that had me worried.

"No, hold on!" I told him.

But then his eyes closed again and he lay still. His pulse was still active; his breathing was steady. I hoped he wouldn't stay unconscious for too long. At least this way I had a chance to work with him without too much pain on his part. 

I applied disinfectant on his face and hands, hesitant at first, then remembering that I had to help him. A couple of silent trips to the bathroom were needed in order to attain water to wipe away excess blood. 

An hour or two had passed when I finally felt that his cuts were clean enough. I wrapped bandages around his hands, and taped a small band-aid to his face. 

There. 

I felt satisfied. But something was wrong... Yue was perspiring, and his face was ghastly pale. I took his hand in mine in attempt to comfort him in his sleep, but it did him no good. His hands were like ice- so unbearably cold, and he was shivering. His eyes, though closed, flickered tensely as his dream showed him visions.

"I feel..." he whispered while still emerged in the dream. "I feel like..."

"Yue-san!" Finally I was desperate. I couldn't watch him like this any longer, so I shook him- hard.

With a small jump, Yue was up off the bed in no time. "E..." Surprise came to him at first, before realization hit him. "Sakura-san?"

"Are you okay?"

Yue stared down at his hands. "The pain's almost gone," he gasped miraculously. 

I smiled proudly. "That's good to hear."

It grew quieter and Kero's snoring was the only thing that could be heard.

I was quick to break the silence. "What happened? Why were you in ... _that_ forest?" 

He heard the emphasis in my phrase. "I..."

"You were dreaming before I woke you up. You looked scared. Is there something-"

"Sakura-san," he interrupted. "There are some things even one's own mistress cannot know." His words were gentle and kind, intended to assure me rather than to offend me. "I am alright. I am always alright." He smiled at me.

I knew better than to argue with him. I could only smile back at him. "I was worried. I'm glad then, for your sake, Yue-san."

"Thank you." he stated. "Thank you for doing this. I appreciate it, Mistress. I appreciate you so much..."

Colour soon returned to his face as he found the strength to stretch his wings out a fair distance. He turned to lay his eyes upon me again. Those beautiful, enigmatic eyes- like that of a mysterious feline's, but also resembling flawless zircons.

"Yue-san." My call was barely a whisper, for I had barely even heard myself.

Yue knelt on the ground until we were at equal height, and our eyes were leveled with one another. He smiled again and tucked a loose strand of smooth, auburn hair behind my left ear, instantly reminding me of my mother's sweet touch when I was a child. His fingertips, almost covered in bandages, slowly caressed my cheek. 

"Brave child," he breathed.

Yue leaned forward very slightly, tilted my chin to raise it, and touched his lips to mine.

I was surprised at first- so surprised that my eyes flew open at once, but immediately settled closed. Such a light touch he had, like a butterfly had just fluttered by and brushed my lips. 

After he released me, I felt my face illuminate softly in the dim of the room. I realized then that I had fallen-- fallen already for the one who served me as mistress.

Yue stood to his feet and rested a hand over my head, expressing one last thank you. "I feel a lot better now. But I have to return to Yukito's."

"I... Goodbye, then." Before he left, I wanted to tell him what I felt for him, but could not help but keep my words concealed.

He opened the window widely and placed his knee over the sill. But before he leapt out into the night, he turned to me once more, slowly blew a kiss and told me in one gentle breath of a whisper, "Omae tte kawaii na...[1]"

"Oyasumi nasai~[2]" I mouthed the words, although certain that Yue had already gone. "Aishiteru....[3]"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1] You are so cute

[2] Good night

[3] I love you

****

Hahah... you don't get much sappier than that XD! I'm a horribly bad romance writer- I make it all sound so cheesy- so I apologize for that ^^;;; 


	4. The Day I Woke Up Next To You

****

+A/N+

~This chapter consists of **PAST** events. Note, this entire chapter is **NOT **from Sakura's point of view! It focuses a lot on Touya actually, and his past relationship with Mizuki Kaho.

~Remember in the last chapter, Sakura had a stuffed bunny on her desk? Good, keep that in mind.

****

Chapter 4: [The Day I Woke Up Next To You]

_It was a tranquil autumn of 1994. Peach blossoms that had spawned on the trees were beginning to flutter along the wind. The school day had just ended and Touya prepared himself to leave. He walked his usual route alone, noticing that the air had chilled quickly and the sun was ready to set along the crimson horizon._

The spirits were starting to agitate him now. He was paid a visit constantly by troubled souls who could not rest. They just couldn't leave him alone. 

Just because I was cursed with this ability..._ he thought._

He was missing a good friend, and he wished there was someone he could express himself to.

Then there was Kaho. Her last day of student teaching had come too soon for him. She had left that afternoon when math class ended, and Touya missed her already.

He stopped at a small intersection and made a turn toward Tsukimine Shrine. Touya spotted her by the temple's entrance, sweeping decaying leaves off to the side. How peaceful and complacent she looked by herself, taking joy in the simplest chore. Her eyes, like rubies, appealed to him the very moment they met, and her lips were always in the shape of a friendly smile.

Touya approached her reluctantly and greeted her.

Kaho separated herself from her chore as her long hair danced playfully in the wind. "Good evening, Touya."

He was suddenly at a loss for words. She had that effect on him, where he would forget everything he had planned to say. But he loved her so very much.

"So I guess it won't be so awkward for you anymore, now that I'm no longer your teacher." There was a hint of regret in her words.

"I won't see you as often anymore."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," she told him. "We'll be sure to visit frequently, even if we won't see each other in school."

"I'll still miss seeing you every morning in the classroom. I looked forward to math classes because of you."

Kaho chuckled. "I always searched for your face first when I entered the room. You had a way of brightening my day whenever I saw you, no matter how bad I felt." 

She reached over to pat him on the head. "You're a good boy, Touya."

And then she picked up her broom again and returned to her task. However, Touya could not bear to leave her just yet. He took a hold of her hand and she stopped immediately.

"I... love you." He said shyly.

Their fingers left each other as Touya turned to leave.

"Wait, Touya!" Kaho called after him. "Would you like to come in?"

And so he did. The two of them were alone in the Tsukimine Shrine; they prepared supper and dined together. It started out fairly quiet, before Kaho brought upon a conversation. Soon enough, words turned into laughter and the meal was close to disappearing. Touya felt warm and comforted in her home.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked him as soon as the table was cleared.

"Yes, please."

She joined him on the couch a few moments later and poured a cup of tea for the both of them.

"I'm glad you stopped by today." she sighed.

Touya smiled. 

Kaho closed her eyes and leaned into the arms of her lover. "You know those words you told me before you came in? Well... I love you too, Touya."

His hand found hers and they embraced in silence for a short while. 

"I feel at ease when I'm with you," she breathed, ready to fall asleep.

"I do too." Touya responded. And he meant it. Suddenly, his loneliness; his frustration; his distraught- they all seemed so distant now.

~~~~

He woke up the next morning with the warm feeling of Kaho's skin. Touya released a soft moan as he realized he was naked. The sun's rays peaked through the blinds and scattered the wall with linear patterns of light.

"Ohayo, Touya-chan," a soft voice whispered in his ear. A few strands of hair tickled his face and woke him up. Touya's eyes slowly lifted and met the welcoming eyes of his lover.

Kaho kissed him and then smiled. She sat up on her elbows with her chin in her hands.

"Did you sleep ok?" she asked.

He nodded. "And you?"

She giggled. "Yeah." Kaho brushed the dark hair out of his eyes. "You're beautiful, Touya."

He grinned sheepishly. Then his face grew serious. "I wonder how Sakura slept last night without me in the house."

"Ah, you're little sister. Isn't your father home too?"

"Yes. But she'll be worrying about where I've been. I hope she's alright." Touya removed himself from under the covers and dressed himself.

Kaho sat straight up and covered herself in the sheets. "It's nice of you, Touya, to care so much for your sister. I've seen her a couple of times with you. She looks like a very mystical girl, very full of spirit."

Touya chuckled. "Little pipsqueak."

"Send my regards to her. I'll be seeing her more in the future."

Touya leaned down to send a light kiss to her neck. "I will." He did not ask her about the second part to her sentence. 

"I'll see you later." she waved.

"I won't forget this," Touya told her. "The day I woke up next to you..."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Oniichan!!!"

Touya rushed across the hall and barged into his little sister's room, wearing a t-shirt and shorts he had just thrown on. "Sakura...?" he gasped. It was late, maybe about 3 am. He approached her and quickly flicked on the lamp by her beside table.

"Where's okaasan[1]...?" she sobbed. "Oniichan, where is she?"

Touya felt his heart breaking. Mother had been long gone by now- Touya had already entered his freshman year at high school. However, Sakura was just a child at 7 years. He always had to remind himself that she was still just a little girl with a short life experience and a naive view on the world. 

He sat down at the foot of Sakura's bed and patted her hand gently. "You were dreaming. Are you okay?"

"Otosan, he's at work?" she asked.

Their father had spent more than a generous amount of time lately at the University. He worried about leaving his two children alone, but Touya assured him that they would be fine.

He nodded for his sister and smiled. "So he's left me in charge of you."

"Oniichan, why can't okaasan be with me too?" She felt tears again.

Touya sighed. "Sakura, she didn't choose to leave you. She fell sick. I'm sure if she had gotten better, she'd be with us right now." Touya leaned closer and winked his left eye mischievously. "Keep this a secret... But sometimes I can still see her. Sometimes it feels just like she is here, watching us all the time." He pressed Sakura's nose lightly with his index finger. She giggled, as if she had believed him.

"Oyasumi." He lifted himself off her bed.

"Um, oniichan?"

He turned to face her again. "Yes?"

"Can you stay with me for tonight? Please?"

When he looked into her eyes, the moisture he had seen was starting to dry. Yet that expression he could distinguish- so frightened and frail. He couldn't bear to leave her.

"Okay. Just for tonight."

Sakura smiled.

Touya rested his body over her sheets and watched Sakura's eyelids fall. Unexpectedly, she suddenly wrapped an arm around her brother's neck. Touya's eyes, which were just about to drop, flew open immediately, only to close gently again. There was warmth in her body that comforted him. He smiled.

"I love you, 'niichan." Sakura whispered before falling asleep.

Several minutes later, when Sakura's placid breathing was the only thing Touya could hear, he slowly began to stroke her hair to pacify her in her sleep.

"Me too." he finally said. "Boku ha omae no ani dakara.[2]" He kissed her softly on the head.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Sunshine laid on Sakura's closed eyelids and woke her gradually. She pushed back the hair on her face and sat up quickly.

"Oniichan...?"

Her bed was empty. She could hear her brother in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Sakura stole a glance at her clock then crawled out from under her sheets. She spent five minutes in the washroom, dressing and grooming before descending the stairs.

"'Morning." she greeted sleepily.

Touya set a glass of orange juice and a bowl of cereal on the table in front of her. "You're quite early. Pretty unusual, don't you think?" he teased.

She gave him a playful look of disgust. "The sun was in my face," she replied. "So... I just decided to wake up."

Touya grinned. "Now you're blaming things on the weather." He shook his head and wagged an index finger. "Always blaming others!"

Sakura stuck out her tongue. Slowly, she then began to eat.

Touya examined his sister while she ate. She looked deep in thought. At times, she would glance over at okaasan's photo. It's been several years after her death, but it seemed since Sakura's dream, she realized how much she had missed her. Touya believed it was just a phase for her, and it would soon fade out.

"I'll be home a little late tonight," he announced. "And... otosan will still be away. There's lots of food left in the fridge for you, so don't worry, ok? Be sure to eat without me. I won't be out for too long."

A hurt expression came across her face. "I don't want to be alone. Where will you be?"

Touya sighed. "I promised Kaho I'd see her tonight."

"Mizuki-san?" she queried. "But I thought she stopped teaching you about a year ago."

"She did. That's not why I'm seeing her. She said she had something important to tell me. I'm sorry, Sakura, please don't be upset."

"It's ok," she replied quietly, returning her attention to breakfast.

"I'll make it up to you." Touya promised.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

He stopped by the same intersection and walked into Tsukimine Shrine. He saw her there, waiting for him, like the day he spotted her outside the temple one year ago. How beautiful she looked, dressed for an occasion in a stunning kimono, illuminated by the burning lanterns that surrounded her. Her hair was loosely braided and hung over one shoulder. She appeared as a goddess before his eyes. 

"Kaho." He held her close to him and lost himself in her touch.

"You came."

"I'm here. What did you have to tell me?"

She hesitated for a second and smiled without looking at him. "I'm going to study abroad." 

The words came to Touya in an instant. It took him several blinks to finally understand what she had just told him. His heart took a leap so suddenly. "Study abroad!?" he exploded.

Kaho just kept smiling like she had not heard his outraged expression. 

"When!? When are you leaving?!"

"Tomorrow," she replied bluntly.

"Tomorrow??" Touya cried. "That's too soon!"

"It's not so sudden for me. I made the decision two months ago."

"What?" Touya gasped. "Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"It would have bothered you, wouldn't it? I'd hate to be around you only to feel sad. You don't like feeling depressed, do you, Touya?"

"That's not the point!" he said, frustrated.

Kaho took his hand in hers, rested her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes. "It's been a year since my last day of student teaching," she reminisced. "The day you told me, 'I love you,' here at the Tsukimine Shrine. You were on your way home from school..."

She paused and giggled quietly. Touya wrapped an arm around her as she spoke.

"I was so very happy," she continued. "I loved you a lot, too. It was so fun to be with you every day, Touya."

"Why- What's with the past tense?" he wondered.

"Because it's the past."

There was a silence as Kaho placed a hand softly on Touya's cheek and looked at him gently, never letting go of that same comforting smile. 

She kissed him. "Let's break up."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The walk home from visiting Kaho was not a pleasant one. The winter solstice was slowly creeping forward, and nights were beginning to break earlier. Dusk had arrived and the moon was ready to dominate the night sky.

He would see faces appearing before him- faces that could not be seen by others. The spirits came every night. Disturbed individuals whose lives fed on tormenting others.

Touya had become accustomed to their presence. He no longer felt as scared as he used to. But they were always there, calling out to him, seducing him...

__

Touya. Touya-chan. Talk to me, Touya-chan. I want you, Touya... Touya...?

They didn't leave for a while. Their persistence frustrated him each night. How convincing their voices sounded... Innocent voices that played with his mind. 

__

Why won't you speak to me, Touya? I can make you better. You'll love me, Touya-chan. Adore me.

Fists tight, teeth clenched, Touya stopped in his tracks and spun around, shouting, "Shut up!! Leave me the fuck alone!!"

The voices echoed once and faded out. There was nothing left but the steady chirping of crickets that had tagged him since he left the shrine.

Touya began to breathe heavily. Anger rushed in and out of his face as he dropped his fists to his sides.

"Fuck you," he muttered. "Fuck you bastards."

~~~~

He returned home soon after his encounter, and was quickly greeted by his sister, who had just finished dinner.

"Oniichan, is something wrong?"

"Me?" He was caught by surprise. "N-no, I'm good."

He patted her head and watched her step into the kitchen to begin with the dishes. He wondered if she had been lonely by herself. She always seemed like such a cheerful child, but sometimes appearances were foolish. Touya remembered how Kaho had described her as mystical, and he had no doubt in his mind about it. But he truly felt sorrow for her. Sakura was a precocious girl who was able to feel pain and regret, and it bothered him to think about how loneliness affected her. Okaasan; otosan- and now it was Touya who had left her alone.

"Sakura?" he called.

She came back again when her name was heard.

Touya suddenly fell to his knees at his sister's height and threw his arms around her, crying, "I'm sorry."

Sakura's eyes flew open. "'N-niichan? Did something happen?"

"I shouldn't have gone." The guilt, the heartbreak, and the frustration vented within him to leave him sobbing.

"I forgive you." she said, smiling. "Don't cry."

It always amazed him, how much maturity and understanding she showed at such a young age. She had so much compassion for someone who had lost a mother.

But that was just the kind of person Sakura was. And she was all he had right now.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The next evening, Sakura and Touya's father returned from the University. He had completed a lengthy and stressful assignment. He spent about an hour conversing with his children over a cup of tea before heading off to bed.

Sakura seemed a lot more relieved now that his father had returned home. She had stopped mentioning Mother and was sleeping well.

Touya took her out on a walk before the sun had set. She had one hand in her brother's grip and another playing casually with her short hair. They stopped at a toy store on the way; Touya had thought that his sister might enjoy a visit there. A broad smile lit on her face as she pushed open the door. A tiny bell chimed overhead as the door shut behind them. Sakura released her brother's hand and rushed to the first shelf of toys that caught her eye. About a dozen stuffed animals were on display, their tender, oblivious smiles, carefully stitched onto their faces, welcomed them.

The store clerk greeted them with a smile and a wave, and asked them if they needed any assistance. Touya assured her that he would ask for her help when he needed it, and so she headed off in another direction. 

It was a rather quaint little store, very cozy, with a cute style. It made Touya feel like a kid again. His own childish grin appeared on his face as he watched Sakura stop at another shelf. Her emerald-green eyes seemed to spark as they caught sight of a stuffed bunny. The plush toy was a faint tone of pink- very pale; its long ears protruded from its head with one dangling over its face; and it looked at her with a playful expression.

Sakura reached out to touch it. Its surface was a soft texture. She lifted the animal right off the shelf and held it close to her face. She seemed so at peace as she was now- so full of joy from a simple plush creature. Touya assumed it was child psychology- the animal was like a friend to her, like someone she could confide in.

He made no hesitation to purchase the rabbit for her. He felt it would cope with her loneliness.

When the purchase was completed, he handed it to her and said, "You know you have a brother who cares for you. But if I'm not around, then this bunny will take my place and keep you company, ok?"

"'K. Thank you, oniichan." Her hand groped his again, and she cradled the bunny in her arms. "I'll love it forever."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1] Mother

[2] Because I am your big brother - [this comes up several times in the story, so be sure to remember that!!]

****

Heheh.. this chapter went on a little longer than the others, but so far it's my favourite. ^_^ It didn't really have anything to do with the story, but I thought I'd do a little event of flashbacks to reflect on Touya's past love life with Kaho, and a sort of brother-sister thingy too.


End file.
